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FIRA¹s resdesigned and revitalized website launches just in time for Fathers' Day. Go to www.fira.ca for information about FIRA projects, research reports, articles and general information about fatherhood issues in the Canadian context and beyond.
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Ted McNeill leads FIRA’s Fathers of Children with Special Needs research cluster, which is hoping to shed light on the ways in which fathers of children with chronic health conditions define their parenting roles and identities by examining the experiences of fathers in families caring for children with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, spina bifida and cerebral palsy. One interesting aspect of McNeill’s work is the importance he places on including the views and experiences of mothers. In fact, McNeill and his colleagues chose to look at this aspect of father involvement through the lens of the couple relationship. Some of our previous research focused exclusively on the
experiences and feelings of fathers," says Dr. McNeill, director of Social Work
at the Hospital for Sick Children and professor of Social Work at the University of Toronto. "What we found was that you
could usually see the silhouette of the mother in the father's experience. The
silhouette of the father was there in the mother's experience as well. I began
to realize that it's hard to understand and make sense of the experience of a
father without taking into account the relationship with his partner."
Barry Hewlett, an anthropologist at Washington State
University and editor of Father-Child Relations. Cultural and
Biosocial Relations (Aldine De Gruyter, 1992) agrees. Hewlett, who has studied
the caregiving behaviour of fathers in certain ethnic groups, says, "To some
extent, you can't really see the father/child relationship without seeing the
mother child relationship as well. In fact, in most cultures the nature of the mother-father relationship dramatically
impacts the nature of father-child relationship."
Not all children live in a mother/father family, but in his
clinical work, Dr. McNeill has observed that the mother/father dynamic is often
a key factor affecting the way parents adapt and cope with caring for a child
with a chronic health condition. So when he and his colleagues, developed their
research proposal for the Fathers of Children of Special Needs research cluster
in FIRA's Community University Research Alliance (CURA) project, they decided
to do more interview with couples than with individual fathers alone.
"Our work is rooted in family systems theory and social
constructionism" says McNeill. "We look at the family as an emotional unit
whose members affect and accommodate each other and negotiate roles together.
Understanding how the unit works helps us understand the experiences of the
individuals as well."
In times of crisis, for example when a child's illness is
first diagnosed, one partner, usually the mother, becomes very attuned to the
emotional side of things, McNeill says. "Mothers often express more emotion and
also focus on and respond to by the child's feelings more strongly. The father
often then feels that he needs to be strong to support his child and partner.
That's a common pattern, but we've also interviewed families where the roles
are reversed. I recall one man saying he was the emotional one. He described
his wife as a rock."
These complementary roles, can be highly adaptive and
helpful to the family, McNeill says. "Someone needs to be very attuned to the
emotional aspect of the situation, but
the family has to survive in a practical sense as well." Here's an example. For children with juvenile rheumatoid
arthritis, one of the health conditions included in McNeill's FIRA study, part of the treatment includes painful
intramuscular injections administered at home by the parent. Sometimes the
emotionally attuned partner finds it hard to administer those injections. In
that case, the other parent may find it a little easier to play that role.
"In family systems theory we call this healthy equilibrium,"
McNeill explains. "Parents have worked out roles that they are comfortable with
and they work well together. These
relationship dynamics could be relevant for same-sex couples as well." However,
if the parents are dissatisfied with the type of equilbrium in their parenting
roles, it can greatly affect the parents' ability to care for their child
together.
"We've seen situations where the mother becomes highly
involved and ends up feeling burdened,
wishing her partner were more involved,"McNeill explains. "But the father may
have withdrawn because he feels excluded and has trouble finding his way of
being involved. We've seen others where a very involved mother becomes
depressed. The father worries about how the mother's mental state will affect
the child and sometimes becomes critical of her as a result."
Clearly, these sorts of dynamics can have a profound effect
on the overall functioning of the family and care the child receives at home.
"Most of our clinical work is about helping parents to adapt," says
MacNeill. "By understanding more about the experiences of fathers and mothers,
and how they work together and affect each other, we'll be able to do more to
help mothers and fathers adapt and work out roles that help them provide the
care their child needs."
Dr. Ted McNeill is leader of the Fathers of Children with
Special Needs cluster.
Co-investigators: Dr. John Beaton (University of Guelph); Mr. Frank Gavin (Father); Ms. Gert Montgomery (Bloorview
MacMillan Children's Centre); Dr. David Nicholas (Hospital for
Sick Children).
Their research involved in-depth interview with couples and individual fathers and mothers caring for
children with spina bifida, cerebral palsy and juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.
The Fathers of Children with Special Needs is one of seven research clusters
included in FIRA's Community University Research Alliance project, funded by
the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council.
The BC Council for Families, British Columbia’s hub for information and resources for and about families, has introduced the Fatherhood Series: six new brochures for fathers. Four of the brochures are devoted to the theme of fathers connecting with their kids. The other two are designed to help new mothers and new fathers understand each others’ experience. All were written, by longtime Today’s Parent contributor, John Hoffman, who is also Canada’s top consumer writer on fatherhood issues.
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